Plastic Surgery Day

Day 22

Everybody could use a little improvement, right? I was supposed to visit a plastic surgery clinic and make a no-obligations appointment or something of that nature. Seeing as I cannot do this in my current situation (being at a boarding school, that is), I decided that calling a clinic would have to suffice. I was able to find a one open past five, and called with absolutely no idea what to say. At least when I was talking to the travel agent, I was interested in travel. However I happen to quite like the way I look, and even if I didn't I don't really like the idea of becoming fake. The woman who answered was much better at her job than Kelly of the travel agency (I do, of course, give Kelly credit for dealing with me). She talked clearly, in a very professional manner, and sounded kind of like she wanted me off the phone (which was probably true). I started out with the basics, asking if they did "plastic surgery-y stuff." She responded with an answer that was much more in-depth than it needed to be, so I proceeded to ask about various aspects of my body. While they can give me breasts, they cannot add other appendages, however they can make me look uglier if I really want to. We talked 'seriously' (or at least I gave the appearance of doing so) for a while, but I think she realized I wasn't actually planning any nips or tugs when I asked her if my face could be constructed into the exact likeness of a popular political figure. She must get more of these types of calls than Kelly, because she knew how to blow me off. She gave me the name of the website, and, leaving nothing else for me to say, we bade each other goodnight.

In Ten Years Time

Day 2

Meet Aaron: 2:00 am, 7^th January, 2020, on the peak of Mt Hood, Portaland OR

Wear: Agressor Parka and Knee High orange socks

Talk about: Caleb, Misha, Scattergood, Minecraft, Sophia Walling-Bell, Barack Obama, Acne, College

 

So that'd be pretty sweet if it happened. Providing I don't forget, I'm sure I'll have retained at least a bit of my less-than-sanity to do it. Damn, though. Where will I be in ten years...? I really have no idea. I could be anywhere from married with a small child to just starting off my career in psychology or travel writing. Or of course, I could be somewhere completely different. And I want to see where Aaron is then too. I want to know that about all my friends. It doesn't seem that long, but a whole lot can happen. I guess that's obvious, but thinking about it's kind of wack.
This seems like a really good subject to write about, but I'm really tired, so I think I'm just going to go to sleep.

Patriotism Day

Day 20

Today, I became patriotic. Well, I got to choose a country to feel patriotic about- the US wasn't one of my choices (would I have chosen it if it was?), so I of course opted for France. 

Pros: Great food, Pretty country, pretty language, pretty people, pretty cool, good food, good  governmental support systems, really good food.

Cons: All of my good friends are in the US...

I don't really have to move there to be patriotic, though, do I? Several definitions I found pretty much talked about being "inspired by love for one's country." So do I have to live there to make it my country? I don't know. I guess since my only options are places I don't live, I don't really have a choice. 

Vive La France!

Poetry Day

Day 19

Today is Poetry Day. I'm supposed to write a single line in iambic pentameter, and send it into the website. Sound familiar? That's because day nine was also an advertisement. I guess I can understand one, but two? At least this one involves me actually doing something, I guess. I choose to look at it as simply poetry day, and not worry about sending it into the website. Here is my line:

Today is advertisement day again.

To be read like this:

toDAY is ADverTISEment DAY aGAIN

I think that's how it works, anyways. I took a poetry class last year, so I kinda remember that. Wikipedia helped too.

I Could Tell You...

Day 18

...but then I'd have to kill you.

Yes, today I was a secret agent. I did many secretive things that, but as the title says, I can't tell you about them. However I can tell you that this book thinks I have much more free time than I actually do. First it tells me to do something during my lunch break, now it tells me to wave at a gray car at 1:00? I don't have a lunch break, and I have crew at 1:00. So I didn't manage to accomplish that. Probably one of the most difficult things I've done so far, however, was the final task of the day: eating the piece of paper where my secret tasks were written. I was somewhat saved by the fact Aaron had joined me on my adventure, meaning we had to split the paper in half to eat it. But god, it was terrible. I felt the ink seeping down my throat as I chewed this soggy ball of impossible that refused to be torn apart. I have a new-found respect for the structural integrity of paper. And it tasted like burning poison mixed with garbage juice, but worse. We eventually downed it in about four pieces with water, like a pill. It was one of the most disgusting things I've consumed so far in my life, not only because it tasted so awful, but because I kept thinking about all the ink and chemicals in it. My whole body tasted bad afterwords.

You don't think eating paper is bad at all, I know- neither did I. but try eating half of an extra-thick extra-strong, ink covered page. Even just grab something with ink on it from the recycling bin or something, I'm sure you will at least begin to appreciate the difficulty of it. Or don't. If it's not clear from the above descriptions, I would actually not advise eating paper.

Day of the Dead

Day 17

Today is "Kill Something Day." Apart from any ethical implications, this was physically hard to accomplish. It's not that I don't have the strength to squash a bug, but rather finding a bug or other live non-human in the middle of an Iowa winter is kind of like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is in Australia, and all you have to work with is a magnifying glass and a pair of your grandmother's tweezers. You know how people say that you're never more than three feet away from a spider or whatever? Not true in the slightest. In short, I couldn't find one. I searched casually for most of the day, but went on a legitimate hunt through the dorm as I began to become tired. I still didn't manage to turn up anything though. I recalled a conversation I had in which someone mentioned that I probably didn't necessarily have to have to kill an animate object. I could perhaps kill a plant or something. I thought that this was kind of cheating, but with no other alternative, I went on a plant hunt through the dorm. I now know that other than humans, absolutely nothing has the capacity to live here. I briefly thought that maybe I could just pick a leaf off of the tree outside, but I realized, of course, that it is still winter. With no other options left, I decided to target myself. Well, my skin cells. I guess they're a living part of me, though I'm not entirely sure. Whatever the case may be, I scraped my index finger with my nail, and washed away the cells with soap. I figure that probably got a few hundred of them, though I'm not basing that off of actual knowledge. I was worried I wouldn't be able to complete today's task at all, so I suppose this is better than nothing.

Día del Dedo

Day 16

Today, I discretely gave everyone the finger. The middle one, more specifically. Have you ever scratched your nose with your middle finger? I did similar things all day (by the end I was getting quite creative) with the intention of throwing he birdie. This task was quite enjoyable. I would challenge myself to try to make it as obvious as possible without anybody noticing. A few people did notice- I hope they didn't think I was actually flipping them off- but for the most part, I was successful. It was rather fun to give the finger to people (mostly staff members) I would never even swear around, and even more fun to flip off my friends. Aaron and I waved a each-other at one point (I'll let your imagination do the rest of the work). Overall, today was one of the more fun days.

Coming Out Day

Day 15

Today, I came out of the closet. Of course I only did it because the book told me to (wow, reading that sentence out of context makes me sound insane), but it was still pretty much the same. Now I would think that all I would have to do is come out- that's a pretty monuments task for a lot of people (made less so for me by the fact that tomorrow I won't be gay, I suppose). But no, I was given a timetable of tasks to accomplish, most of which I didn't do until two or three hours after I was supposed to. I began by brushing up against people of the same sex. I live in a dorm with a bunch of guys who are pretty close. We sit five or six people to a couch frequently, so needless to say, this wasn't a problem for anyone. Next, I began flirting with people (of the same sex of course). This wasn't actually all that strange either, cause like I said- we're pretty close. Following that, however, things became more complicated. My task was to send out a mass email to all my co-workers (or fellow students, in my case), telling them that I was gay. I wrote the email pretty quickly, but it took me a while to send it. I wasn't nervous about the whole saying I was gay part, I was more nervous about people being offended when I told them it was a joke (which I still haven't done, by the way). I told my room-mate (who happens to be gay) about it, and he seemed amused, so I decided it was pretty safe to go ahead with it. Here's what I said (keep in mind that my friend Aaron is also completing these tasks):

Me (in an email to the entire student body): So I've been wanting to say this for a while, but I couldn't figure out how to. The thing is, I'm gay. I have been in a relationship with someone for a while now, and I'm not sure if he's ready to come out yet, but I couldn't wait. I hope you don't think differently of me. 

Aaron (in a response to everyone): It's me he's in a relationship with. I'm sorry Sophia that I've kept this a secret for so long. I'm ready to let everyone know.

 I was under the impression that people would figure out pretty quickly that it was a joke. The fact that Aaron appears to be in a successful relationship with a girl might have been something to tip people off. I suppose he did address that in his email, but still. Some did catch on pretty quickly, however it took others quite a bit longer. My favorite part was when people would start off the conversation as if they hadn't read the email. Here's a conversation I had:

Him: "Hey, what's up?"

Me: "Not much, you."
Him: "You know... not a whole lot..."

Me: "Yeah, I'm kinda tired."

Him: "Yeah, me too. So [very off-offhandedly] I was just wondering, was that email true... or... I mean, if it's true that's totally cool. Like, awesome. But I was just wondering, cause you know."

I had many similar experiences. It was ridiculous how much attention I got, after I sent out the email. Anyone who's starved for attention and wants to be noticed, try coming out of the closet. Almost immediately after hitting "send," I was peppered with emails and IMs asking if it was true. I ignored most of them. I plan to send out another email tomorrow. 

This, however, was not the end of it. There were still two tasks remaining. First, I had to casually squeeze another guy's butt. I picked one of my close friends, and slapped rather than squeezed. He ignored me and asked where the Dorm Sponsor was. Once that was over with, I still had to profess my love to someone (I was supposed to do it over a romantic dinner, but that's rather impossible here. I forgot about it until about 20 minutes ago, where I leaped into the closest bed I could find (which happened to belong to the friend whose butt I had slapped), and constructed my body into what I thought was probably the sexiest pose I could with all of my clothing still on. He began beating me (quite ironically) with the very book I intended to improve my life, and continued, adding in the occasional kick, until I got off. 

When I got up this morning, I felt kinda crappy, it being Monday and all. However, by the end, I was smiling. Today was certainly a success. 

Compliment Day

Day 14
Today was compliment day. Really, for the first half of the day, I forgot (as well as periodically throughout the second half as well.. Most of the responses I got were laughs. Some nervous, but most were simply a comment on the strangeness of my compliment (I guess it is a bit odd to say "I like your nose" to someone I haven't talked to in a while). I got some "thank you"s and a few smiles, which was nice. However, the responses that most shocked me were the hostile ones.  I'll admit that I didn't take up a whole lot of time to think up the compliments- I just commented on the first thing I noticed, but I was a bit taken aback. Overall, I would say that it didn't add to or take away from my happiness. However, it provided a bit more abnormality to my otherwise very normal day, so in that respect it was successful.

Mass Murderers

Day 13

Today, I had to write a letter to a mass murderer. The obvious first step then would be picking a mass murderer. My friend and I searched for one for a while on the internet, and after about 45 minutes of paroling through depressing pages of death counts and vivid descriptions of creatively mutilated bodies, we decided on Dennis Rader (don't look him up unless you want to become very depressed). Looking at this kind of thing is different than watching Criminal Minds. At the end of the show, I can always tell myself that the things that took place were fiction, fabricated by a group of writers sitting around an oval shaped table- but these victims are real. It's not coincidence that four people all murdered in the same night all had the same last name.
Then came the issue of the letter. What does one say to a mass murderer? Before I read about him, I thought about writing a rather compassionate letter. However, with the names of his victims haunting my vivid imagination, I have nothing but disgust for him. But telling him how wrong what he did is wouldn't really do anything- I'm sure he's been told before. The fact that he was able to do those things shows that his mind woks differently than ours, so trying to make him feel bad for what he did? Won't work. I researched the minds of serial killers for a little while, but didn't really get much. I decided that I didn't really need to put too much work into making him feel bad-- just giving him a short reminder that people hate him is enough I guess. Here is what I wrote:

Dennis Rader,
     You are a **** face. 

Surprisingly enough, that is the product of several drafts (all longer than the final version). Nothing elaborate or eloquent, but it gets the point across. I don't expect it to keep him up at night, but as long as he doesn't count it as fan mail (which, with a mind like his, is a distinct possibility), I'll feel alright. I don't have any stamps of envelopes though, so I'll have to mail it on Monday.

What's My Type?

Day 12

My options:

1. Dumb Blonde

2. Clever Brunette

3. Wild Redhead

4. Lesbian

5. Nag

6. Cold Fish

It wasn't a very difficult choice for me. I've been interested (in one way or another) in many of these choices (pretty much just numbers 2-4-- yes, lesbian is included). However, I am pretty set in my attraction to those who stimulate my mind just as much as everything else. Clever Brunette would be the obvious choice. Really, the hardest part about today was finding a pen. I tried to convince some people to go get me one for a while, but when they wouldn't, I took about ten minutes to come to terms with the fact that I would actually have to get up and get one. I looked around the room, and found a pen that my friend had stolen from me. I triumphantly plucked it from his desk, and used it to check off the little square next to Clever Brunette. Today's mission has been successfully accomplished.

Introduction Day

Day 11

I bet if I looked back at my posts, I would find that the time I posted them directly correlates to their length (the later the time, the shorter the post). I really need to get to sleep earlier.
Anyways, today's task was to introduce myself to someone I see around, but have never talked to. This is not easy in a school of around 50 students. I was going to introduce myself to the new(ish) business manager, but she looked busy, and I was really just looking for an excuse to put it off. When I was little, I didn't say 'thank you' when people complimented me because I was too shy. I've come a long way from that, but I still struggle with an intense aversion to being as outgoing as I would like to. I was stumped as to who I could target until I realized that I was going into the fencing club tonight, and I could just introduce myself to someone there. I was in a good mood following practice, because I thought I had fenced pretty well, so it didn't take much effort to walk up to someone (whose name I found out is Tal... I think) and told him that I'd never actually introduced myself. It struck me how interesting it is that pretty much all over the world, the first thing we as of anyone we meet is what their name is- something virtually insignificant in defining who that person actually is. Hm. I debated whether or not to shake his hand or not, and finally did. And that was the extent of today's adventure (unless of course you include the battle my eyelids fought against the quite formidable force of gravity while writing this).

Before Breakfast Day

Day 10

Today was one of my most difficult tasks: Do something before breakfast.

I don't know how some people live on less, but on a good day, I get about 7 hours of sleep, which isn't enough for me. This is made possible by sleeping through breakfast, which gives me an extra 40 minutes. While setting my alarm an hour before usual is bearable the night before, the morning it wakes you up, incessant beeping shattering the sweet bliss of your dreams- that is terrible. I dragged myself out of bed, read my options by the light of my cellphone, and decided that watching the sun rise would be the fastest thing to do. I shuffled over to the lounge window, still wrapped in my blanket, and caught a glimmer of the sun rising over the social studies building. That was enough for me. I set my alarm for my usual time, and promptly fell back asleep.

Advertisment day?

Day 9

Today is stupid. My task was to visit their website. I dutifully obeyed, At first I thought that I had typed in the address wrong, or that they had purposefully given me a strange website, because it appeared to be some sort of cult. However, upon further inspection, I found that it was actually the website they said it was. While much of it was written in the same clever style as the book, the majority of the site is simply made up of ploys to get me to buy their other publications. The funny thing is, if this book really does end up changing my life (and don't get me wrong, it's leading me on the right course-), they shouldn't need ploys to get me to buy the other books.

Addiction-free day

I have an addictive personality. It is because of this that I don't have many addictions. Throughout my life, I've been addicted to many things. It's simply how I operate- I find something, and latch onto it, spending as much time as I can on it. Whether it be a branch of psychology or a video game, I will spend most of my available time doing something in relation to it. It wasn't until about two years ago that I realized that this blind behavior was taking me away from things I actually want to do. I began trying to distinguish between 'healthy' and 'unhealthy' obsessions, and tried to take them all in moderation. I tell you this because my task for today was to cut out addictions, and I didn't want to seem like a pretentious bastard by saying I don't have any. The combination of hard work and the date (the fact that it's just after new year's, and therefor those pesky resolutions haven't faded into failure yet) are the only reasons the accomplishment of actually finding an addiction is an issue for me.
I wrote down a list of the things that take up most of my time. Apart from classes and homework, the other two things were chilling out with friends, and doing various things on the computer. I decided that friends were more healthy, and the computer was less, so I cut out all recreational computer use for the day.
It wasn't long before I almost slipped back into my old habit of just checking my email, and then, because I have my computer open anyways, doing twenty or so other things as well. I caught myself though, and actually talked with people instead. Here is a list of things I did in place of doing crap on the computer:

Hung out with friends
Read part of a book
Did some homework
Ate some food
Filled up my water bottle
Just kinda walked around the dorm

While not all of these things are say, productive, I believe the first three are better alternatives, and I would argue that the last one is quite productive as it gave me time to think (something very important in a busy schedule- it's amazing how little time I have for just thinking).
Honestly, it didn't make a dramatic difference in my life. But it certainly didn't hurt, and it was nice to read and chill with people.

Alone Time

Day 7 

My first blunder was telling my friend. Before lunch, he announced to pretty much everyone he could find that they should look for me at 1:53 in any place I could be alone. I accepted this as another part of the challenge, and ate lunch. My task? Difficult for me to explain, but in essence, it involves being alone for one minute at 1:53 pm, thinking about specific things. Following lunch, I complained about how I felt sick, and read for a while. In the beginning, I checked the clock about every fifteen minutes to make sure I wouldn't miss 1:53, but that became annoying, and I became lost in the pages of my book. At 1:53 exactly, I happened to check the clock again, and bolted out of the chair I was sitting in. I had meant to hide somewhere where my friends (who were now, for all intents and purposes, enemies) couldn't find me, but I had not time. I ran down to the private bathroom, watching the clock until the minute was over. Here are my thoughts:

Ooh, wow... everyone's thinking about me right now. Hm. Well.... it says I'm supposed to think about specific things, so I guess I'll do that. Aa, now everyone know what I'm thinking about. This sucks. Is the minute over yet? Oh god, someone's knocking. Wow, okay, just don't answer. Are they still there? Did they go away? I can't believe people know what I'm thinking about. Only 15 more seconds. 15 more seconds. Whew, okay, the minute's over. I wonder if anyone's right outside the door? That person who knocked probably is. I'll flush to make it sound like I was actually using the toilet. Alright... let's walk out the door now. 

There was in fact no sinister figure sent by my treacherous friend waiting for me outside. I walked back up to the lounge, and continued to read my book, no one the wiser. Until, of course, I posted the story on my blog. 

p.s. The out of order sign I put on the light switch is still there.

Being sick

Day 6

On day 6, I'm already taking my first sick day. Saddening, I know. Let's just hope I get better soon.

Out Of Order

Day 5

What did I do today? Other than going to class, I played pond hockey, watched Wrist Cutters for the first time, played tag on the chairs in the social room (I really don't know why it's called the social room, cause it's only ever used for meetings), had an insightful, feel-good, very depressing conversation, and put an Out of Order sign on a light switch. I learned from my friends later that I was being unoriginal (I guess a lot of people put Out of Order signs on light switches?), but I think it worked well enough. I sat on the couch next to the light for the next few hours, having the conversation mentioned above. At first I was worried that one of the staff members who had been hanging around would notice and figure out it wasn't actually broken, but after a while, with no one lifting an eyebrow, I relaxed. This could certainly be a commentary on people, and how they simply accept the word of authority without question, content to live in the dark. Or it could just be interesting to see how long it takes for anyone to realize it's not actually out of order. It could conserve energy, it could be stupid, or the sign could fall off. Either way, it brought just a little more enjoyment to my day.

World Coloring Day

Day 4

At first I only read the beginning of today's task, and didn't think it was very exciting. Simply color in where I've been, where I'm going this year, where I'm planning to go in my lifetime, and where I'm not going to go? Fun, but not something I can really write about. However, after I colored in the countries, I discovered exciting news: I need to talk to a travel agent. Not just any travel agent, and accredited one too (whatever that means).

I flipped through the yellow pages, until I got to the number of a toll-free travel agency. Without the slightest idea as to what I was going to say, I dialed the number (after hitting 'record' on garage band). Below is a transcription of the conversation (the name of the [very patient] agent has been changed):

"Red CarpetTravel, this is Kelly"

"Hey Kelly, how's it going?"

"Not bad, you?"

"Uh, pretty good, you know. So, you are probably able to figure this out by the fact that I'm calling a travel agency, but I want to travel somewhere."

"Alright....... Where would you- where would you like to go?"

"That's where you come in. I don't really know where I want to go per-say... you know."

"Okay... do you want Caribbean, do you want Europe, do you want Mexico?"

"Uh, do you have an all-in-one package?"

"What do you- you mean like an all-inclusive? The air, the hotel, everything?"

"Um, no... I mean like Mexico, Caribbean and Europe all at the same time."

"No."

"That sucks."

"You just have to, you know, build it, put it together yourself."

"Hm... so like, I could build my own country and put it together myself?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, okay."

"If you have destinations that you want to try to put all three places in you can try to fly from one to the other."

"Okay, that might be interesting. What about New Zealand?" (I actually do want to go there- I even colored it in on the map!)

"There's flights there, yes."

"Yeah, that place looks pretty."

*Long Pause*

"I mean, I don't know what kind of vacation you're looking for."

"Um, I kind of- like if it could involve shark hunting or something, that would be ideal. But it doesn't necessarily have to be sharks. Any large sea predator would really do."

"Okaay... well, I don't know what-- like a lot of the tour companies don't do things like that. It'd have to be something where we get you there and the locals could set you up with something like... that."

"Okay."

"Like a lot of places will do like a water tour around your destination."

"That sounds interesting."

"Do you want to just stop in and get some brochures?"

"That would be lovely. Um, where are you guys?"

"We're across from [indistinguishable] bike shop on [indistinguishable] street in Iowa City." (I believe she slurred the words so that I couldn't find it).

"Okay, that sounds fun, but I was looking for something a little more international."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, see, when I travel somewhere, I'd rather not just go to the travel agency, I'd rather go to a different country... You know?"

"I guess I'm confused... why don't you just stop by and pick up some brochures of other countries?"

"Yes, I'll certainly do that. Well, thank you very much for you assistance."

*Kelly hangs up.*

It was only after she hung up that i realized it had turned into a prank call. I certainly hadn't meant it to. At least it was interesting.

Well, I need to do algebra, so that'll be all for tonight!

Throw Away Day

Day 3
"Today, throw away something you like."

Much harder than it sounds. The hardest part about it is finding a balance between picking something that I like, and picking something that I wouldn't be too devastated about loosing. I don't want to feel lame about not throwing away something important enough, but I also don't want to regret throwing something away that I like.

I walked around my room, hoping that something would fall on my toe so that I could throw it away out of spite. Alas, such a sign did not come. This decision was made even harder by the fact that I am at a boarding school, for which I try to pack only things I actually use and care about. Even so, just yesterday I uttered the words "I have so much s**t... why do I have so much s**t?" Yet I could find nothing to dispose of. 

I turned over drawers, ruffled through clothing, and rummaged around shelves. Everything was either too valuable, or not valuable enough. 

As I was filing through filing cabinets, I realized that maybe I shouldn't take it quite as seriously as I had been. I just have to throw away something I like, not something I'm seriously attached to. After some thought, and some more rummaging, I selected a t-shirt. It was my favorite shirt for a while; I got it in New York City on a trip with my parents, and wore it until it got to just the right worn-down-ness.  But its remaining life has been decreasing, and I feel like, though I have an attachment to it (if not a strong one), it's time for it to go. But as I threw it away, my mind made one last attempt to stop me. What if I sent this to some impoverished country or something where a shirt like this is a big deal to a lot of families? But of course I'd never actually do that. If something has potential, but that potential will never be utilized, is it really a waste to throw it away? Is it still even potential? That isn't a rhetorical question- just wondering.

And I threw away the shirt.

The Love(s) of My Life

Day 2
"Today, gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of your life, the one destined for you and you alone, and whether you might be passing them by forever... Act in consequence."
At first, it seemed pretty straight forward. However, as I began to try to follow these directions, it became increasingly apparent how vague they actually are. Am I supposed to think that everyone actually might be the true love of my life and then act in consequence directly, or, once I think of them that way, am I allowed to decide if they really might be and therefor if I want to act or not? Also, what exactly is involved in acting in consequence?
I never really figured any of this out. I asked a few people what they would think if I asked them to marry me, or what college they were going to and if I could go to the same one with them. I considered most of the people I met during the day, but there was little to act upon. Finally, at 11:30, I proposed to three of my friends. Their responses were as follows:
"Um... sorry, but I'm already engaged." (not the truth, but the kindest of my responses).
"No." (before I had even finished kneeling).
"Go away, I'm tired." (he did look tired).
Fortunately for all, it seems that despite my persistence in asking, no one has agreed to marry me. What did I get out of today? Many odd looks, practice explaining myself by saying "It's a long story." a sore knee, and (as always) more tired. I suppose there's probably a learning curve to this sort of thing. Perhaps tomorrow will be more fulfilling.

The Beginning/Warm Up

Day 1
    "As this is your first day, you should warm up with an easy task that will only change your life a little bit. Choose one of the following options:"

Chose one of the following options? I didn't sign up for this to warm up, I signed up to change my life! Only choosing one would leave nineteen wonderfully odd things un-done. Unacceptable. I shall do all of them. I'm sure I'll regret this enthusiasm half way down the line, but again- that's what I signed up for! Below is a timetable of my achievements.

6:03 pm: Googled "press-up," found out it's pretty much a push-up. Proceeded to do one.

   Notes: ... I really need to get in shape...

6:05 pm: Turned on music, performed a strip tease in front of mirror. 

    Notes: Discovering un-known talents can sometimes be terrifying (but possibly lucrative?)

6:09 pm: Triple-tied shoelaces.

   Notes: lol

6:13 pm: Learned "chopsticks" on the piano

   Notes: I preformed this beautifully constructed and excellently played masterpiece for Alan.

6:23 pm: Told someone my middle name

   Notes: He said he didn't know my first name.

6:47 pm: Typed for 60 seconds as fast as I could, and then did the same for another 60 seconds. attempting to increase the length by three words.

   Notes: I don't think it counts if you use shorter words the second time. Whatever.

6:53 pm: We don't have roads with crosswalks for at least three miles. Instead of jaywalking in a pedestrian zone, I danced around the dorm lounge in a ridiculous fashion for about 40 seconds.

   Notes: Always remember that many rooms in this world are equipped with windows into which people can see...

6:55:07 pm: Set all (three) clocks to the right time.

   Notes: It's not hard when two of your three clocks are automatically set by a satellite.

6:57 pm: Whispered a white lie when no one was listening.

   Notes: It took me a while to think of one. I went with the standard "Of course what you're wearing doesn't make you look fat," I couldn't think of anything else.

6:59 pm: Fantasized about my partner

   Notes: I don't have a partner. So who was I fantasizing about?

7:07 pm: Searched for like five minutes until I could actually find someone with a comb (it seems brushes are superior), and combed my hair.

   Notes: My hair is too short to comb, so I figure I could change "Use a different sized comb" to "Use a comb."

7:08 pm: Said "Yo" instead of "Hello"

   Notes: I probably said it two or three other times today as well, but this one still felt special.

7:10 pm: Went on a one minute hunger strike to save the penguins.

   Notes: There were no donations, but at least I raised the awareness, right?

7:32 pm: Bookmarked a new website

   Notes: Yup... it was this one...

7:34 pm: Named my genitalia Calvin, Hobbes, and Caleb

   Notes: I had an auction- I named my genitalia after whoever won. Caleb won, paying me $1.

7:43 pm: Decided that the middle toe on my left foot is the prettiest

   Notes: I had to un-triple-knot my shoes to do so.

11:01 pm: Called my roommate and put the phone up to my left ear, rather than my normal right.

   Notes: No notes.

11:02 pm: Insulted a bug (it was dead).

   Notes: I felt bad, so I apologized to it.

11:26 pm: Tried a new sandwich filling!

   Notes: Dried mango in stale bread- not as appetizing as it found.

The first day is complete. Already, I am feeling just a little bit more meaning in my life.

p.s. My good friend Aaron has decided to join me in my endeavors. Today, he did a press-up, told someone his middle name, went on a minute-long hunger strike, and said "Yo" instead of "Hello." All in 15 minutes. Props.