Coming Out Day

Day 15

Today, I came out of the closet. Of course I only did it because the book told me to (wow, reading that sentence out of context makes me sound insane), but it was still pretty much the same. Now I would think that all I would have to do is come out- that's a pretty monuments task for a lot of people (made less so for me by the fact that tomorrow I won't be gay, I suppose). But no, I was given a timetable of tasks to accomplish, most of which I didn't do until two or three hours after I was supposed to. I began by brushing up against people of the same sex. I live in a dorm with a bunch of guys who are pretty close. We sit five or six people to a couch frequently, so needless to say, this wasn't a problem for anyone. Next, I began flirting with people (of the same sex of course). This wasn't actually all that strange either, cause like I said- we're pretty close. Following that, however, things became more complicated. My task was to send out a mass email to all my co-workers (or fellow students, in my case), telling them that I was gay. I wrote the email pretty quickly, but it took me a while to send it. I wasn't nervous about the whole saying I was gay part, I was more nervous about people being offended when I told them it was a joke (which I still haven't done, by the way). I told my room-mate (who happens to be gay) about it, and he seemed amused, so I decided it was pretty safe to go ahead with it. Here's what I said (keep in mind that my friend Aaron is also completing these tasks):

Me (in an email to the entire student body): So I've been wanting to say this for a while, but I couldn't figure out how to. The thing is, I'm gay. I have been in a relationship with someone for a while now, and I'm not sure if he's ready to come out yet, but I couldn't wait. I hope you don't think differently of me. 

Aaron (in a response to everyone): It's me he's in a relationship with. I'm sorry Sophia that I've kept this a secret for so long. I'm ready to let everyone know.

 I was under the impression that people would figure out pretty quickly that it was a joke. The fact that Aaron appears to be in a successful relationship with a girl might have been something to tip people off. I suppose he did address that in his email, but still. Some did catch on pretty quickly, however it took others quite a bit longer. My favorite part was when people would start off the conversation as if they hadn't read the email. Here's a conversation I had:

Him: "Hey, what's up?"

Me: "Not much, you."
Him: "You know... not a whole lot..."

Me: "Yeah, I'm kinda tired."

Him: "Yeah, me too. So [very off-offhandedly] I was just wondering, was that email true... or... I mean, if it's true that's totally cool. Like, awesome. But I was just wondering, cause you know."

I had many similar experiences. It was ridiculous how much attention I got, after I sent out the email. Anyone who's starved for attention and wants to be noticed, try coming out of the closet. Almost immediately after hitting "send," I was peppered with emails and IMs asking if it was true. I ignored most of them. I plan to send out another email tomorrow. 

This, however, was not the end of it. There were still two tasks remaining. First, I had to casually squeeze another guy's butt. I picked one of my close friends, and slapped rather than squeezed. He ignored me and asked where the Dorm Sponsor was. Once that was over with, I still had to profess my love to someone (I was supposed to do it over a romantic dinner, but that's rather impossible here. I forgot about it until about 20 minutes ago, where I leaped into the closest bed I could find (which happened to belong to the friend whose butt I had slapped), and constructed my body into what I thought was probably the sexiest pose I could with all of my clothing still on. He began beating me (quite ironically) with the very book I intended to improve my life, and continued, adding in the occasional kick, until I got off. 

When I got up this morning, I felt kinda crappy, it being Monday and all. However, by the end, I was smiling. Today was certainly a success.